In my current sleep-deprived state, I am more than usually inclined to be terribly offended by Goffman's implication that a funeral is no more than a performance, however, I feel that, in this case especially, he is more revealing than disrespectful.
As Goffman has said himself, a truly memorable and believable performance is better staged by an actor slightly detached from what is happening, so as to gain perspective. The funeral director, in this case, would make a perfect candidate. He is professional, having presented and mourned over the deceased so consistently, and is therefore capable of presenting his grief in a way that the true mourners would find most acceptable.
Being someone who seldom expresses grief on a highly visible scale, I can relate to the struggles faced by both family and institution in giving the deceased the funeral that he or she deserves. Serving as a pall bearer for my grandmother's funeral with little idea of what was actually passing, I simply attempted to act as the other family members and friends expected me to: I kept silent and with downcast eyes. Christian and societal prerequisites had already eliminated any potential for organic mourning or what could be considered inappropriate jubilance in the potential celebration of an extraordinary life. Therefore, these expectations and prerequisites had already transformed the original mourning into the monotonous ceremony that society guarantees will bring closure. In short, it was already a performance.
Though I would never hint at it at a funeral, I believe that Goffman, through the most sensitive media at his disposal, has made a startling revelation in relation to the inner workings of funerals. What is suggested is not as insensitive as it initially appears, but is, in fact, the only viable option for the mourners and funeral director to create closure for the deceased in a socially acceptable way.
Afterthought:
Other examples that strengthen Goffman's view can be found in celebrity funerals and more ritual-based funerals found in Chinese and other cultures. The extremes of performace and flare, which does not serve to return any vivacity to the deceased or comfort to his/her family, can be clearly discerned as a performance to gain the acceptance and support of the more general public.
Stone me if you want, but I think that Ronald Reagan's funeral is the single biggest modern example of this idea:
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