Funerals as performances

Last year I lost my grandfather to Alzheimer's disease, and it became the first funeral I had ever been to. Looking around, everyone was crying, myself included. The way in which Goffman describes the funeral as a performance isn't necessarily offensive, but I don't think it's accurate. When I think of a performance, I think of people acting and I don't believe anyone at this particular funeral was acting. Their emotions were real and involuntary. He also mentions the deceased person as "the star of the show". This comment does sound a bit offensive because it makes the fact that the person is dead almost a positive thing. The "star of the show" is dead, so that should be a bad thing. How can someone who is dead even be the star of a show?