Education and the Democratic Process

I'm not sure exactly what everyone ate before the last class; but while people starve worldwide, wars rage, and genocide is allowed to continue, we argued heatedly about the morality of American's choice to use part of our tuition money to provide a public service for the community. A public service that benefits the school and student body in various ways, no less.

Someone brought up idea that, although we pay tuition, we do not receive a vote on the decisions for the regular goings on within the school. There were several issues with this that I would like to explore.

First, a school is not a democracy by any stretch of the imagination. Unlike in a democracy, intelligence is usually a factor for progression through the academic hierarchy. As to the idea that we (the tuition-paying students) do not vote for the board of trustees and other such positions. Would we want to? Would we do a better job? The answer to both is probably not. Additionally, if money is the deciding factor in these decisions, then the trustees likely have enough votes to elect themselves by this logic.

This idea leads me into another similar idea. If this country was a democracy where the number of votes each person got was based on the amount that they paid in taxes and contributions to the government, people like Bill Gates and hedge fund managers would be able to cancel out whole inter-city neighborhoods during the elections, hardly a democratic way of going about it. In the same way, at this school, should people on scholarship get less of a say? American already runs more heavily on tuition than almost any other school, as President Kerwin told us, so therefore we already have a larger say over the workings of the school than nearly any other student body in the country.

So to bring it back to WAMU, whether we agree with it or not, as a relatively uneducated public in regard to the financial workings of the university and its support of WAMU and the possible kickbacks that are included, it is hardly in our place to take one statistic and to decide that we should have a popular uprising. This may be college, but we're not all Che Guevara.

Reflection: Dear Explorers,

I really honestly cannot describe how thankful I am for the support I received when I was in the hospital.

I don't usually get really sick, so normally when I don't feel right I don't really worry. I might complain, but I usually know it's nothing serious. When I got sick on Monday, it was the worst I'd felt in a long time and I was really really scared. It was also the first time I was on my own to handle it, and I couldn't have handled it without your help. It means so much to me that you guys were there.

I have a severe phobia of needles. As in, even thinking about needles right now is making me cringe. My mother (who knows everything) suspects it's a sort of PTSD from when I was younger and was hospitalized for Kawasaki's Disease, but all I know is that Me + Needles = You-stick-me-with-that-I'll-stick-it-in-your-eye-bitch.

So two days with an IV in my arm, plus shots, and daily blood drawings (plus one on the top of my hand....WTF??) had me beside myself. But knowing that people cared honestly made me feel so much better. I didn't feel so alone, even while I sobbingly let them shove skinny pieces of metal in my veins. (Ewwwwnfjska;vnjkl fnns)

So thanks. I'm feeling tons better now (enough to be totally stressed by how much work I have, hahaha). And after this I'm going to sleep (Yes I know it's 7:00). Happy Halloween everyone!

Love,
Allison

What is with these depressing conversations??

I don't know about everyone else, but for the last few classes I've left with a negative feeling. Our conversation last class about whether AU was our first choice or not, really got to me. I personally am thrilled that I got into AU and for me, it was one of my top choices. Several people seemed to have negative views on coming to AU and expressed them very clearly. It seems to me that a lot of people in our class are bitter about not going to the college of their choice, but why waste your time thinking about where you could have gone to school, when you are sitting in classroom at a university that offers so much. Wherever anyone goes to college, it becomes what they make of it. You can be happy in most universities, it's just up to you to use what the university offers and to keep a positive attitude. I felt almost hurt at what some people were saying about AU when AU was one of my top schools and I worked hard to get here.

Today's discussion would have been fine, but I think that people are unable to express their ideas without others shooting them down. Why can't we all just agree to disagree? If someone doesn't agree with what someone else said, then they should just respectfully state their opinion and let it go.

Bottom line, I think people need to relax and stop dwelling on the past.

p.s. HAPPY HALLOWEEN (almost)

Individualism: Past and Present

I'm not too sure what to make of this excerpt but I will make an attempt to discuss the topic of individualism. What I get from it is that nowadays people strive to be individuals rather than to be just a member of a group.

The author writes that "a return to traditional forms would be to return to intolerable discrimination and oppression" (Bellah et. al., p.144). I think Bellah is trying to say that people were more group-oriented. For example, in the times of slavery, if you were white you were expected to hate blacks. Nowadays, people want to be special - they want to explore their own ideas and develop their personal opinions. Modern individualism involves everyone finding their own niche in society. Everyone is given the opportunity to be who they want to be; there is equality for all. Bellah speaks of the "unequal rights and obligations" of the biblical and republican traditions. The modern world is all about fighting for equality.

This change in the meaning of individualism is driving people away from societies and into isolation. Bellah writes that "if the break with society is too radical, life has no meaning at all" (p.144). I agree with this as everyone needs relationships to be able to enjoy life. I support the idea of individuality but I think it should not be taken to the extreme. People should try to develop their identity without totally breaking away from society.

Analysis Question: Modern Individualism

"Modern individualism seems to be producing a way of life that is neither individually nor socially viable, yet a return to traditional forms would be to return to intolerable discrimination and oppression" (p. 144)

I guess I'm not really sure how we're supposed to respond to this quote, but from what I read, the author does not like the way life is right now. In what way is modern individualism producing this way of life that the author describes? It is true that if we went back in time and lived the way we used to, there definitely would be more discrimination and oppression. We have come a long way as a nation to reduce racism, sexism, and all the other "isms" out there. It seems like this author has a negative outlook on life as it is now, but I think it would be helpful if he or she explained in what ways modern individualism is "producing a way of life that is neither individually nor socially viable".

No Man is an Island

Do older civic traditions have the ability to reformulate themselves into something socially viable for the modern world? Of course they do. Will the older social and civic institutions be the ones behind that reform? Doubtful. As modern individualism has led from simply seeing yourself and acting as an individual to doing everything on your own in a self-destructive fashion, there eventually must be a tipping point back to an interdependent society. Older civic and biblical traditions offer viable interdependent societies that already have a basis in success. However, as many women do not want to be sold into prostitution as punishment, and many minorities do not want to experience forced labor or other forms of oppression, there must be reform within these systems.

Thomas Merton, a trappist monk and author during the Vietnam era, wrote a book and essay titled No Man is an Island. In the essay, he expands on the idea that modern individualism does not allow for self-discovery because self-discovery requires the presence of other people and that this new kind of individualism conflicts directly with a spiritual life. However, Merton, in recommending a new kind of outlook on individualism, does not demand the catholic viewpoint only, but a hodgepodge of viewpoints, for the purpose of achieving the best possible method of self-discovery.

Merton's idea is essentially what is needed for the reformulation of civic and religious traditions to create a new, healthier kind of individualism. The civic engagement and the it-takes-a-village mentality of the past, the communal and spiritual-centered approach of older religious traditions, but also the self-awareness and un-surrendering equality that has been brought about by modern times. Through the combination of these different ideologies and methods for lifestyle change, we can achieve "the golden mean."

Who is going to invoke this change is the only question left unanswered. Few deep within the different ideologies and communities will we willing to invite massive change. However, popular support for change from a fed-up and educated outside group could create the change we need to see or possibly create a new popular group altogether.

Kerwin Cleans Up

Neil Kerwin is a professional, there can be no doubt whatsoever about that. He has the singular job of defining American as a school of its own, not Georgetown's backup, not GW part two. In doing this, he has the additional challenge of overcoming recent decades past of poor leadership at American. This Strategic Plan that he has created will serve, hopefully, to brand American in the way that it hopes to be seen, not in the way that other schools and popular culture have sought to brand it.

Kerwin is strong and polished. Whether it is within American's ideals or not, he realizes that American not only needs to BE excellent, it also needs to APPEAR excellent. Despite how clear it was that every answer he gave was calculated, Kerwin clearly knew that if he is going to protect, maintain, and improve American and its reputation. There were, however, certain questions I had with the ambiguity of the Strategic Plan:

It talks about equal access on pg 2, but also a form of student affirmative action on pg 8.

There is a lot of talk about American's liberal arts program, however, as of yet American does not have a formal liberal arts program.

On the note of liberal arts, knowledge is mentioned much more often than skills gained at American, implying that this school, which was once more for skills, is now aiming to be much more general and liberal arts oriented.

The main issue I had with the strategic plan was that it did not seem to represent a strong deviation from what American has been doing in the recent past. President Kerwin's response to this issue was extremely satisfying. He said that American needs to do better what it has already been doing as its main goal, especially working with alumni and defining the school.

President Kerwin seems like he has great potential to lift up this school thats been entrenched in scandal for over a decade. But what I came away with was not that it was a plan to revamp the school, but to redefine its image.

President Kerwin

I really enjoyed having President Kerwin in class on Friday. I was a lot different than what I had expected it to be like. I thought that he would've focussed solely on the Strategic Plan, but he seemed to speak more on his personal life. I loved all his stories from his college life onwards...they made the listening a lot easier for me.

One thing that stood out for me was how sure he was about his life's choices. I remember him making a statement that he doesn't regret anything in his life. He seems totally content with his job and family. I admire him for this and I guess in a way I am jealous of him. I hope to one day achieve that sense of satisfaction as I get older. I know too many people who become unhappy with their lives and begin to regret choices they made.

Overall what impacted me most was this sense of contentment and satisfaction.

Reflection: President Kerwin!

I thought it was really cool that we got to meet AU's president, Neil Kerwin. At first, I was a little skeptical when I heard we had to dress up in our usual "business casual" attired, but as soon as Mr. Kerwin began speaking, I understood why. This man had done so much for the school and had quite the job in recovering the school's appearance after the last two presidents. He is definitely a man I respect because he didn't talk to us like little kids, or in any way seem condescending. I do know, however, that everything he said was perfectly scripted and that he could not really be anything else but Neil Kerwin, the president of AU. I liked his story about his rise to success and he seemed pretty realistic in how we could achieve similar successes. Overall he was a pretty cool dude and I would be happy to listen to him again. I think he is doing a lot for our school, especially when our school has apparently gone through some scandal in the past.

Reflection: Lucky President Kerwin

It was actually really cool to be able to sit down and hear President Neil Kerwin speak yesterday. Although obviously he wasn't candid, he was casual and calm, and seemed like a very approachable guy. I was expecting someone intimidating, and although when it came time to ask him questions we all sort of freaked (anyone else notice the change in the air to sheer terror?). Every time he answered a question, he did it to the best of his ability and was truly in earnest about everything he said.

He was incredibly positive. I guess he had to be, he wasn't going to put down his school; but even in his tone and how he described things, I found what he said to really be uplifting in a way. The only time it seemed that he wasn't speaking positively was in response to Justin's question. And even then, he didn't complain about what was wrong, he described what needed to and what was going to be done to fix it.

It was interesting to also hear President Kerwin's story of how he came to where he is today. And although he explained that his interest initially stemmed from his father's profession, it still seemed to me he came across the rest by chance. Maybe his personality subconsciously led him down the path he truly wanted, or maybe it really was just sheer luck that he ended up in the class freshman year and then was a TA a few years later. Some people sure do get lucky.

Question 8 - Of course AU is a community...

American is a community, and it is a part of a larger community, and it contains smaller communities. It all depends on how you define a community.

We as AU students are all together, and participate in a government, attend classes and share the same buildings and resources. I would consider that a community. We are also a part of the DC community. Explorations is also a part of the Leonard community. And the L2 community. And the Explorations community.

My group discussed in class how many people determines when a group becomes a community. We had decided it was around four or five, but the more I think about it, the more I think it depends on the circumstances. There can be large groups of people, who may be connected by some common theme or place of residence, and can't consider themselves as a community. If there is nothing to relate to, and nothing that can bring them together in some way, then they are just people who live in the same space. And at the same time, perhaps two people live isolated from society, they could technically consider themselves a community as well.

So yes, AU is most definitely a community because we all have a pride and very strong common link of being a part of something big, where we live and learn and are constantly with one another.

Community

I feel as though people in a community should have at least one thing in common whether it be location or hobby. This means that one person can be a member of several communities I guess, based on what factor we are focusing on.

A school can be considered a community because we have many things in common. It's like members of a family who have stories from the past which they can all relate to. Students at AU have similar problems such as, TDR food, studying, the library etc. These are the things which bring us together ... they create discussions which only members of the AU community will be able to participate in.

As I said before, one person can be a member of several communities, which means that AU can be made up of many smaller communities. The difference is what holds the people together. The athletics for example may form their own community because of that common interest.

Overall I guess I am a bit confused about this definition of a community. However, I do believe that AU is both a community as well as a home for many communities.

One World, One Community, One Love

Community is a word that gets thrown around a lot in modern vernacular. There is the black community, the gay community, and hundreds of others that seem to simply be excuses to lump together minorities. However, there is always proof that these groups are communities: that they will come together in a time of mourning or need.

American University is most certainly a community. Granted, it is not the most tightly knit community, but neither is it the most aloof of communities. AU embodies many of the characteristics we discussed for communities in class. First, it has leadership. We will be speaking with said leadership next week. Also, it is a group of individuals who all share a common interest in higher education in the DC area. We're not all brothers and sisters, but we all have the uniting bond that we chose this place to go to school, or to teach, or to work, and therefore we are a community.

While AU is more of a middle level community, many of the groups within it are even tighter. Within dorms, with the residence hall associations and interdependence on floors, you have a tighter community even than a neighborhood would sport. On the other hand, AU is located within the larger DC community. We act as part of DC, by interacting with the city, organizing events such as the Dalai Lama, and participating in events such as the Equality March. AU, like its cohorts GW and Georgetown, are large actors in the DC community and help to define it the way that Joe Gorman does Suffolk.

To take it even farther, you could say that DC and every city and state in the world belong to the larger state, country, and world communities. Each actor, no matter how big or small, has a larger effect on the community or world around them. We are all united by the common thread or our humanity at least. I think that 9/11 was the best example in recent memory that there is, in fact, a world community. After 9/11, not just New York, not just the US, not just the English speaking world, everyone came together to mourn the tragedy (with the exception of those who committed it). That is true proof of a world community.

Is AU a community?

AU is hard to define as either a community or not. When I think of a community, I think of a group of people who come together because of a commonalities they share. There are aspects of AU that I believe are not like a community at all. Students from all over the world have chosen (or were forced to choose) AU as their university, but because students are from all over, they tend to flock towards people like themselves. A good example is our University College. We make up a community within the larger population of AU. I think the AU is made up of smaller communities used to bring students together. Fraternities, clubs, sports, etc. all make up their own communities as well. There are leaders and there are members of these communities that strive to maintain the close-knit feel of the community. So I guess AU isn't a community in itself, but a large population with smaller communities in it.

Reflection: Still waiting to be homesick...

It wasn't long ago that I was a complete emotional roller coaster. But the second I got to college that seemed to come to an abrupt STOP. I used to overthink everything, work myself into a frenzy, cry ALL THE TIME, and was basically out of my mind with feelings. Maybe it was my psychologist mother, but I was almost a little bit too in tune with how I felt at all times.

Not that I don't still feel, but it just feels like I have it under control. And that scares the crap out of me.....because I don't know if this means I'm just a ticking bomb, or if things are actually fine.

Everyone goes through those periods where something reminds you of home and you go "Oh" and have a bit of nostalgia, maybe a sigh or two. But I have yet to really really miss home. Because if I'm completely honest with myseslf--What's left for me at home, besides my parents and friends, my dog, and my house? Nothing! My life is here! Everything back home has changed. My best friends are in college, too. I am no longer in high school and they've moved on as well. If I went home, what would I do?

Of course I miss my queen-sized bed, and bedroom that's twice the size of my forced-triple dorm. Of course I miss my puppy and Obi-Wan (He's my desktop computer with dual monitors- my laptop now is Ki-Adi-Mundi, my old laptop was Qui-Gon. He died.). I obviously miss my parents. But, I'm doing all right. It's not perfect, but I can figure it out.

I've always hated change, too. But something always told me that I was quite adaptable. I may not enjoy the changes that occur, but I can conform to them fairly gracefully. It's just a new routine to get used to.

The only thing that gets me is the complete lack of privacy now. While I love people, I also like my alone time. I feel like now, when I'm not in class, not eating, and not with people, then I'm doing work. So either I'm doing work or I'm with people. I'm never by myself just perusing online, or reading a book for pleasure. And that's something that's really weird. Everyone wants to be so social, and if you're not, then you feel out of the loop. So you try to be with people as much as possible and it's hard sometimes! Sometimes I really hate people!!

But other than that, I doing all right. And I hope it stays that way because I'd hate to lose it. I like having things under control.

Advice

Yesterday I went to the Newseum for my volunteer training session. The weather was absolutely horrible ... it rained all day, but the session was a lot of fun and very interesting. Thirteen people showed up, one of which was an elderly guy who had been volunteering at the Newseum for many years now. The reason I decided to blog about this is because of what we discussed over lunch. I sat at a table with the man along with two other AU students, and we ended up talking about his life and what he had done. It reminded me of the people we had come in to speak with us during class like Mary Hansen. It turns out that he had led quite an interesting life so far working for the Department of State in Foreign Affairs. He had worked in Africa and Germany to name a couple of places. His advice seemed to coincide with what everyone's been telling us ... don't worry too much about your future. He even quoted one of his friends who said that out of all the jobs he has ever had since he graduated, none existed while he was in school. One more thing that struck me was when one of the sophomores at the table said that his dad always told him that it is important to figure out what you don't like to study while you're in college. This drew me right back to Mary Hansen who gave us that exact tidbit of advice. Overall, we had quite an interesting discussion over lunch which really related to our talks in class.

Final Thoughts on Invisible Man

Upon concluding our final discussion on Invisible Man, I still felt like I had fallen short. There were so many things we could have drawn from it, yet I am still unsure as to which of those were he most important. Was it all black versus white? Was it the individual versus the group mentality? Did the book imply that those who are invisible also have no friends? I felt like we discussed a lot of these ideas as possibilities, yet some of them are mutually exclusive.

First, we compared being invisible to being the president's press secretary. If that's true then it would be unlikely that invisible people would not have friends. If your job is making you invisible, as we argued the Brotherhood did to the narrator, then you are only invisible for those "on the clock" portions of your life. That the narrator did not have friends outside of work or before work (that we know of) it implies that there is something deeper at work.

These keys do not seem to imply, however, that it made the book purely racial. The narrator came across many other African-Americans who did not have the same problem with an identity that he did, even ones who tried to help him on the way. This could only imply that there was something special about him searching for his own identity in solitude, yet that he was constantly having identities forced upon him.

The narrators final revelation comes after having made the only choice he could think of in the situation, to betray the Brotherhood, but that turns out to be negative and leads to his first act of purely free will (though it was in a tight spot) to be a negative one. What does this say about shaping your own untested identity.

For now I must leave the ultimate meaning open. I must agree with Ana, that from a sociological standpoint, the book strikes one much differently than from a literary standpoint.

Invisible Man

I enjoyed our conversation about The Invisible Man, but I felt like we never came to a final conclusion. Was joining the Brotherhood a good thing for the narrator or bad? I personally think it was necessary because throughout the novel, the narrator is trying to figure out his identity. I don't think he ever really knew who he was and had always done what his superiors had told him to do. From Mr. Norton, to Bledsoe, to Brother Jack, the narrator just goes with the flow. I didn't really understand the ending, but from what it sounds like, he finally has a grasp on who he would like to be. I was a little disappointed by the ending because it was unclear what he was going to do from then on, but I liked the idea of the book as a whole.

Now onto a tangent subject....

It's almost halloween!! I am trying to convince the other girls to be Fanta girls with me. I tried to be a Fanta girl one year and made costumes with my friends for weeks, but then on the day of Halloween I got sick and couldn't go trick or treating! I'm going home this weekend (which I'm so excited about) and hopefully I will get some more costume ideas. We should definitely have a floor halloween party or something!

Economics...what??

I am not sure if it was the lack of coffee or lack of sleep, but when Mary Hansen came to speak to our class, all I wanted to do was fall asleep. Not only did she tell us what we already knew, but she turned our class into an economics class. I don't really want to hear that "we need to try different things to figure out what we want to do" or "you won't necessarily do what you thought you were going to do", etc. I don't really want to hear what is okay or expected of us, I want to know exactly what steps I will need to take in order to pursue a possible major.

This is the shortest blog I've ever written, but there wasn't much to reflect on this week. All I know is I'm kind of sick of these speeches because they are starting to blend together and I can't remember who said what.

The Planning Paradox

From the moment we could communicate, we have been receiving conflicting messages. In one ear we hear "act like an adult," "consider you future," and "you better start planning now;" while in the other ear we hear things like "enjoy your childhood" and "live in the moment." This is the paradox of growing up: enjoying the moment in which we reside while, at the same time, planning continuously for our future. I have always been a fan of living in the moment, and Ms. Hansen's low profile lecture to our class made me feel a lot better about that viewpoint.

Ms. Hansen is not the first of our speakers to admit that her job came to her by chance, but she is one of the few who advocates wide-ranging experimentation over narrow planning for a college game plan. Many of our previous speakers have advocated narrow and tedious planning for the future, yet they themselves found their own careers out of the blue. I felt that Ms. Hansen's approach was more realistic for many different reasons: first, the majority of the jobs we will be applying for do not even exist yet, and second, the liberal arts approach to education, though useful for jobs, does not necessarily help you to know what you are passionate about.

Now, I must acknowledge that Ms. Hansen was speaking outside her area of expertise (which she only tangentially touched on), but in her case you can argue that she has not been blinded by the forced ideologies of the machine and is simply talking about her experience. We have seen that her experience of find a career by chance is by no means unique, so therefore we should regard her words as equally valid to those of a speaker from an education research program, career center, or what have you.

Reflection: I noticed a trend between our speakers

So all of these guest speakers we've had come to class all seem to have the same story as to how they found their dream job: Chance.

Chance? Really? There are a lot of unlucky people in the world...Who's to say we won't be a part of them? I don't particularly enjoy the idea of not having any control over such a huge part of my future. I knew it wouldn't be a clear cut formula where you input problem-solving over here and add it to liberal arts and then subtract stupidity and get the ideal job. But still, there is no way I can go through college without a heading. I want to experiment but I don't want to just be blowing in the wind.

I'm also not a fan of the philosophy that nothing is a waste of time because you learned what you're not good at. I am a perfectionist. I don't do failure and I don't enjoy being bad at things. There's no way I would possibly reflect upon a failed class and say "Oh well, it was worth it. At least now I know I'm no good at it!" What a waste of my time and money. Maybe my way of thinking is naive, but I just can't call a semester of classes and money and time and work worth it if it was all torture.

Decisions

Deciding what you want to do with your life is always difficult. I have always had an interest in so many different areas that it was hard choosing a major to study. After high school, I took a year off from school which worked out pretty well for me. It gave me time to think about my future and what I would really like to pursue. I ended up teaching at a primary level school and I loved it! This is the main reason why I chose psychology as my major. However, I am still thinking of attaching a minor or even a double major to that because of my wide range of interests.

Mary Hansen pointed out to us that we should try out a variety of courses. She said that realising our dislike in a particular area of study is just as important as discovering a passion for something. I really liked this statement and I totally agree with it. However, the main problem most of us saw with it was the lack of time for testing out different courses. I feel like I do enjoy my psychology classes but I also enjoy others which sometimes makes me wonder if I should be majoring or minoring in some of them.

I hope that soon I will be able to declare my major, whether it includes a minor or an additional major, and be satisfied with my choice. I guess I just need some time to try out different courses like Mary Hansen suggested before I am able to make this choice.

Question 7: Invisibility

I do not think that invisibility is specific to race or ethnic background. The theme of race and what it means to be "black" during this time is apparent throughout The Invisible Man, but I don't think that it is the sole reason for the narrator's feeling of invisibility. Invisibility can mean a number of things. One could feel invisible because they don't have a voice or they may feel insignificant within a large number people. An example I gave in class was when I made the transition from high school to college. In high school, I felt that I could at least recognize everyone and for the most part they could recognize me. Here, in college, it is a totally different experience. There are now 6,000 undergrads and I feel invisible at times when I walk around campus and I don't even recognize someone's face.

As for The Invisible Man, there are numerous examples of the narrator feeling invisible. I think he is going through a bit of an identity struggle. In college he had no control over anything and had to put on a front in order to remain in school (a reason for his expulsion). When he joins the Brotherhood, he finally has a place to feel less invisible. They "value" his opinion and encourage him to speak out and become known. However, when they turn against him, he says, "Up to now, I had felt a wholeness about my work and direction such as I'd never known; not even in my mistaken college day. Brotherhood was something to which men could give themselves completely...and it was this sense of wholeness that guaranteed that it would change the course of history" (406). Here, it is evident that the narrator is struggling with a sense of abandonment and rejection. He is back to square one again: invisibility.

Question 7

Being invisible during the narrator's time was probably mostly due to his race, which automatically limited his opportunities to stand out, or to pursue his true interests. Such things such as Dr. Blesdoe's letter, which the narrator thought was in good faith and was actually a ploy to deny him work, is an example of these times in which he lived. Part of the narrator's problem is his inability to formulate his own thoughts. Even as he gave his speeches, he only fed off of the audience's desires. He either directly or indirectly told was what to say and do--and that is what makes him invisible. This expectation of following orders was assumed during his time for most blacks by whites, but for the narrator I think it is particularly notable how he doesn't think for himself.

And how else can someone be defined than by their actions and thoughts? I think it's for this reason that the narrator is so invible. He has no identity, and nothing that makes him stand out or make him different from just another bump in the road.

Children of Men

This was my first time seeing "Children of Men" from beginning to end. I had seen most of it with my mom when I was back home and I distinctly remember how it made me nervous. Honestly, the first time I saw the movie, it had a greater impact on me. This could have been because I was really tired on Wednesday. I remember hoping throughout the entire movie that something like this would never happen to me. The violence and darkness everywhere was really depressing. When I think of the people who had the 'privilege' of living in Britain, I wonder if that is any life worth living. It just goes to show how we value our lives; they are willing to live in the streets and dirty buildings rather than be killed. Makes you think about what you would do if you were in that situation.

ENFJ represent!!

I think we all agree that the most exciting part of the presentation on personality types was the ending when we received our results from the Meyer Briggs assessment. After doing the activities our guest speaker gave us and looking over my assessment results, I found that they matched perfectly. This was really cool because it showed me I had a pretty good sense of who I was as a thinker and as a person.

I have an ENFJ type. This means many things, but an aspect that stuck out for me was that I am a big people person and I am good at understanding people. On the list of careers ENFJ personality types would do well in, the list was: facilitator, consultant, psychologist, social worker / counselor, teacher, clergy, sales representative, human resources, manager, events coordinator, sales representative, politicians / diplomat, and writer. Out of those listed, the social work/counselor, teacher, events coordinator, and psychologist stuck out to me. For someone who has no idea what I want to major in, these seemed the most interesting. I had already thought about being a social work for at-risk teens and families or a counselor of some kind. Now that I saw that these careers were good for people with my personality type, I felt a lot better about not knowing what I want to be.

I have been thinking a lot about what my future is going to look like. I still don't know what I want to do specifically, but I'm really glad I took this assessment because now I have careers I can picture myself pursuing.

On a different note, I started taking notes on for my ethnography (in the airport) but I suddently had no idea what to take notes on...any advice??

Cult of Personality Profiles

This was not the first time most of us had taken the MBTI. We had a general idea of what it was looking for, and we had every chance to front and get whichever letters we wanted out of it. What the woman who came to talk to us about the test would have said, had she had longer to speak, is that your real MBTI letters are not the ones that came out of the test, but the ones that you wrote down in what you thought you were.

No one can tell you who you are. It was a Greek ideal, a Renaissance ideal, and individualism has bloomed into one of the defining characteristics of an American-style democracy. Those who may or may not hate us for our freedom, often really do dislike our rugged individualism. This self-made idea allows the MBTI to give you information on how you act in certain situations but, as she said, you can change you personality, act often outside of your profile, so nothing too definitive comes from these letters.

Aside from helping people who have not done a lot of intraspection figure out why they are not getting along, I find the potential to help for the MBTI to be limited. Our visitor told us that she and her husband, who both know a significant amount about the test, argue over whether he is unfairly pegged with his letters and whether he has changed recently. She herself said that she can no longer take it honestly because she knows the consequences of each of the questions towards her letters.

As I come down, I find that the MBTI is a useful tool for understanding yourself and maybe even how you relate to others, but it must be taken with a grain of salt, for you can define yourself to an extent that no test can match or measure.

Reflection: Why yes, I do love college, thanks for asking!

Thinking on identity and putting up fronts, as always, coming home for my home's homecoming (haha, that sounds funny!) was really interesting. The new freshmen, trying to act all grown up now that they're in the high school; the new seniors, pretending they're so ready for college when they haven't even finished their applications; and then me and my friends, the newly graduated, who have to make sure they look well-put-together so that people can tell that we're happy and healthy.

I walked down the road with my best friend, stopping to hug basically anyone and everyone we knew, each time the same question being asked, "How do you like college?!" We would say we loved it, that we were having a great time, that classes were incredible, and that no, we weren't homesick. While perhaps most of that may have been true for me, it wasn't for my friend. And as we walked away she said to me "I love telling people how much I love college. It's so much easier than explaining why it sucks."

And honestly, how many random people really want you to come home only to hear how miserable you are? They don't, because it's a downer, and frankly it's also none of their business. It's said out of politeness, to show that you recognize someone's situation, but you're not really concerned about their well-being.

It leads itself to the question, Is it considered putting up a front if the person asking how you are, isn't really all that interested in your honest answer?